Seven o’clock in the evening
And I’m searching for my door key
I unlock the house and walk in
On the arm of a sexy lady
And I yell out, “God-damn baby, I wanna bang ya!”
Then she comes out and kisses me
And I get out the video camera
Police arrest me later
Saying I done a crime
I said this was a […]
Apparantly you can now pick up a card, a bit like a donor card, except instead of giving up your organs, you give up life. In other words, if you’re in a horrific accident and your life can only be supported by machines, carrying this card is a predetermined declaration that you do not want […]
Okay so I have a question for you all and I would love it if someone answered it for me. Why does your mind always draw a musical blank? The other day whist I was stumbling along at work I found without one of the greatest internet inventions on the planet. You Tube Audio Convertor
This […]
It’s another year so that can only mean it’s another bloody Eurovision Song Contest. It’s that time of year where every country has to pick a singer or band out of obscurity, thrust them into the lime light for three minutes, then have them disappear into obscurity again. All this in a colourful expensive display […]
The other day I got into a fight. Nasty it was. It wasn’t delicate fluid and heavily choreographed like in the movies. This was an out-and-out brawl. T’was fun though.
The fists were flying, the legs were kicking, the mouth was swearing. It was foul play but all’s fair in street fighting. I had no idea […]
Here is your very own guide on how to make a puppet of Dr Who!
1) Take a large sheet of **BANNED BY THE BBC** and roll into a cyclinder.
2) Then, stick the cyclinder down with a bit of sellotape and fold the **BANNED BY THE BBC** over.
3) Cut out three **BANNED BY THE BBC**-holes. One […]
I’m a frequent drug abuser. I once burgled my best friend’s flat. I’ve been in prison several times. I’ve been beaten and forced to drink vile chemicals. I’ve stolen cars, driven without a licence and driven while under the influence of drugs. I’ve been a gay prostitute and a drug dealer. My father has disowned […]
As I strolled though the wonderful city of London. Think that it is rather hot out today. Was thinking about what i could right about in this daily blog/musing of mine. I looked up to see the high street with the normal hussle and bussle. But then I see something that always makes me whince […]
The world is falling apart. Everything seems to be buggering up at the moment. Earthquakes, floods, cyclones, hurricanes, tsunamis… it’s just all going wrong. But why is this happening? Is it global warming? Climate change? Was Al Gore right all along?
If I could do the Family Fortunes “EEH-UUH” wrong answer sound effect right now, I […]
With big boy movies like “Iron Man”, “Speed Racer” and “Adaptation Remake 2 - The Prequel”, there needed to be a girly film to balance out the equilibrium. And filing that slot this week is “Sex In And The City”. That’s right boys. It’s ladies night and feeling’s right. But the big question behind the […]