Here are five ways to get away with drinking on public transportation now that it has been prohibited by that presenter bloke from Have I Got News For You:

1) Join the National Theatre. Then tell everyone that you’re a method actor and you’re playing a character called, “Drunkard On Train” and they’re interrupting “your art.”
2) Wear a colourful t-shirt that says, “My Name Is Donny Don’t” and instruct the other passengers to “Don’t Do What Donny Does”. You can pretty much get away with anything with this scheme.
3) Dress up as a chicken in stockings. People will just think you’re a figment of their imagination.
4) Relabel all your beer tins to say, “Not Beer”.
5) It says nothing about eating alcohol. Which frozen lollypop would you prefer, Cider or Tequila flavoured?

Can you suggest any more methods?

Note: If anyone really calls a Southern Comfort, “SoCo”, you derserve a slap.